Resources for Single Parents – Part 2

Today, most of us know a single parent facing the challenges of schedules, rising costs and transportation to name a few. We are digging deeper in to resources for the single parent.

The definition we are using for single parent is from the website: Encyclopedia of Child Behavior and Development “Single parent families are comprised of a parent/caregiver and one or more dependent children without the presence and support of a spouse or adult partner who is sharing the responsibility of parenting.”

One of the strains on single parents is their own mental well-being. This is not a small issue when we learn that over 40% of children in Florida live in a single parent household. In the US it is estimated that 29% of the single parents live below poverty level. This is data from 2019 so this is most likely a higher number now.

Stress of the cost of living

In Bay County 27.1% of children 0-17years of age live in single parent homes, just below the state of Florida at 28.2%. That translates to one child in every 4 is in a single parent home in 2021. The good news is that number has declined by 10% over the last 10 years.

Images from Florida Health Charts.

According to research done by Lending Tree researchers, the average Florida income for a single parent is just over $46,000. (Link here.) Meanwhile rent and mortgages are high across Florida though Bay County sits higher than Calhoun and Gulf but less than Walton County for mortgage payments.

Housing Costs for our Bay compared to surrounding counties. From: National Association of Realtors website

What does this have to do with mental health? The single parent struggles to work and take care of their children while making decisions that impact the child’s well-being. Childcare is more difficult to find and pay. There isn’t another adult present to help make decisions or bounce ideas off. With the worry about paying bills and providing their child a happy home it creates a lot of pressure on the single parent. Loneliness can accompany these feelings when the primary communication is done at a child’s level. Anyone with children knows young children can be taxing with their constant demands and that doesn’t let up as they become teenagers. It may take a different look but the exasperation, frustration, and lack of “me” time can weigh heavy on the single parent.

There is support available

While parents, friends and siblings can offer support, the single parent may need to talk to someone else often because of feelings of guilt or inadequacy. Guilt over being in the position of being a single parent. Inadequacy occurs as the single parent sees other parent successful or even trying to live up to their own parents’ expectations. One resource is support groups, both online and in-person.

In-person sessions range from groups specifically designed for single parents to groups that meet of like age and sometimes provide childcare. The difficulty for in-person opportunities is often childcare. Keep in mind the church is one place where childcare is free while attending classes or sessions that focus on the parent’s needs for socialization and support. Bay County has many churches offering single ministries, small groups, and childcare. In our research of the nationally known support group formats none meet locally though they encourage the start of local chapters.

The online chat groups are another means of support, but one needs to be careful they don’t get caught up in the negative side to such groups. On one hand it is good to hear others with similar issues and hear responses to those needs. On the other hand, a parent must guard themselves from falling into a negative rabbit hole of complaints or spending too much time online and neglecting their child’s needs.

As a community we can be more sensitive the single parents around us, offering support in the form of babysitting or just inviting the family into our homes for a meal. We can also encourage them simply by complimenting them as we see their positive efforts in caring for their family. While giving money doesn’t always help, anonymously paying a utility bill or dropping off groceries on occasion can be quite supportive. As we hear of resources for single parents we can walk them through accessing those resources.

Examples of Online support groups include:

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/single-parenting

https://www.supportgroups.com/single-moms (and Dads)

https://forums.thebump.com/categories/single-parents

There are also several options listed at this website: Love to Know
https://www.lovetoknow.com/parenting/parenthood/single-parent-support-group-options

There are also websites that offer advice that meets parent needs. For example, Single Parent Advocate has links and resources related to schooling, food, finances, health, and careers and employment. https://singleparentadvocate.org/